Having Children As A Same-Sex Male Couple – How Does It Work?

same sex couple discussing having children

When it comes to having children as a same-sex male couple, there are a few different paths you can take. Many gay couples choose to adopt or foster children, but what happens when you want to have a child that is biologically yours? 

Here at Bright Expectations, we can help make that dream a reality through egg donation and gestational surrogacy


Options for Eggs

The first step to having children as a same-sex male couple involves finding an egg donor that’s right for you. Since neither partner has their own biological eggs, you’ll need to decide where you want to source your egg donor. 

Many couples choose to go through a trusted relative that is willing to donate eggs on their behalf. This is a popular option due to the fact that the baby will be closer genetically and bear a stronger resemblance to at least one of the parents and their family. 

Some couples will opt to go with a close friend that is willing to donate their eggs. This can help simplify the egg donor matching process and usually ensures that the couple is in close contact with their donor throughout the process. 

The most common option is to match with an egg donor from a trusted egg donation agency, like Bright Expectations. Egg donation is a huge commitment and in many cases there isn’t a family member or friend that is willing to donate. In addition, with an egg donation agency, you’ll have your pick of egg donors with various traits, educational backgrounds, health profiles, and physical characteristics. 


What Donor Criteria Are Most Important To You?

When it comes to choosing a donor from an agency database, it helps to know what you’re looking for in a donor. What traits and characteristics are most important to you and your partner? Do you want your child to look more like you or your partner? Do you want to focus on finding a donor with a strong academic background? Are you looking for a donor of a specific ethnicity? 

Discuss these kinds of questions with your partner before going into the donor selection process. By narrowing down the field before you start, you’ll have a much easier time choosing the right donor for you. 


The Gestational Surrogacy Process

Once you’ve chosen your egg donor, found a surrogate, and signed all the paperwork, you’re ready to start the actual IVF process. Here is a brief rundown of what you can expect during the gestational surrogacy process:


  • Egg Donation: First, your egg donor will start the donation process, which involves several weeks of taking fertility drugs to promote ovulation and sync her cycle with the chosen surrogate. Once our team of fertility specialists have cleared her for donation, they’ll extract several healthy eggs and take them to our state-of-the-art fertility lab for fertilization.


  • Fertilization: At this point in the process, the doctors will take a sperm sample from you or your partner to fertilize the donated eggs in our laboratory. Once all the eggs have been fertilized, our lab technicians will watch closely to determine which egg is the most viable embryo for transfer. You can cryopreserve the remaining viable embryos for future attempts if you so choose. 


  • Embryo Transfer: Once the viable embryo has been chosen, we’ll have your surrogate come in to receive the embryo. In a minimally invasive process, our fertility specialists will transfer the fertilized embryo to the surrogate’s uterine lining. 


Once the viable embryo has been transferred to the surrogate, the IVF part of the process is complete.


For more information on using donor eggs, read our related post: Are You Considering Using Donor Eggs? Tips and Shared Experiences to Help You on Your Journey.


We know that this can be an intimidating process and you probably have many questions regarding your specific situation. Our compassionate staff is always ready to answer any questions you may have about egg donation or surrogacy.

Contact us today to discuss your fertility options.